"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
Matthew 11:28-30
Lately I've been reflecting a lot on the kids denial for help.
So many times I offer to help them, I have the answer for their problem or using a little help could make them achieve what they want in a much better way.
I know our culture nowadays is raising us to be independent, to not need anybody, to figure it out. Do it yourself and the kids reflect that.
They proudly say: "I can do it." while I watch them struggle. Sometimes they exhaust themselves trying to do it, they get frustrated, they get filled with rage, despite all their efforts and wants they cannot do it themselves.
Here and there I try to offer them help again and then they deny it. When that happens I think to myself, oh well, good luck trying to do it yourself and I tell myself I won't help them after because they've been so disrespectful to the one trying to help them.
I watch them struggle until they are ready to ask for help, accept help or eventually give up.
I've been reflecting on how much this looks like my relationship with God. How many times I know He is there, I know He can help, I know He will do it on His time, but me? I want to do it myself. I want to have control of the outcome. I imagine if God watches me the same way I watch my kids. Thinking that if I could only surrender we could figure this out together.
And when I don't, I cry, I get frustrated and I fill myself with rage. Why do things cannot just work out? I am trying so hard. Maybe it would if I could only trust and ask for help.
Today, what made me write about this was a simple moment with Shayna, she had a dress on and she needed to change clothes to go to soccer. So, I told her to go change, but first she should let me help her with the buttons in the back of her dress because I've seen her struggle to open them a bunch of times. She and her not so nice attitude yelled at me that she could do it herself. I told her okay, but knowing she was going to come back for help eventually. I saw her twist around, lay on the floor and struggle to open those buttons. At that moment I thought "I told you" and I had a very selfish thought that was: "if she comes to ask for help I will tell her she could just figure it out herself". At that moment, God brought to my mind another thought that said: "What if I treated you like that? What if I only gave you one chance?" At that moment an enormous feeling of mercy and grace crossed me. What if God treated me the same way I want to treat people? What if God only gave me one chance on everything?
While I was thinking that Shayna asked me if I could help her with her dress. Happily I told her that I could. I helped her and instead of thanking me she looked at me superbly and said: "See, I did much more than you.". Normally it upsets me that the kids are so unable to recognize someone's else help, but at the time I didn't care I started thinking that she needs grace exactly like me.
In her world where she is taught that she needs to grow to be independent, to not need anybody, to figure it out she needs grace. She needs grace to understand that sometimes we need help, sometimes it's okay to accept an offer, sometimes it's okay to not know everything, sometimes it's okay to be lost.
I am not here to say we should do everything for the kids and that they don't have to try to do things on their own or even that they don't need to persevere when things get hard. All of that can be good. However, why so many times do they (and do us) resist help so much? Why are we so afraid of looking weak? Why do we want so much to not need anybody? Why do we resist God so much?And what if God was like me and got tired of my rude refusals?
A very freeing truth is that God is nothing like me He is gracious and merciful. He doesn't give up on me when I refuse to accept help.
Reflecting on us I think it's time for us to be less prideful, it's time to understand that we need God and we need other people. It's time to look at people the same way God looked at us. With mercy and grace, and mostly with love.
Isn't it a very worrying reality to think that everything depends on our own efforts? Why do we want to be independent so much? Do we think that with enough money we won't have problems? That if we don't need anybody we won't get frustrated?
What if the money ends? What if the health fades? What if we get frustrated anyways?
Pride says figure it out. Jesus invites all the weary and burdened to come and He will give them rest. Does it mean that we won't struggle anymore? No, it means that He can help while we go through life.It goes against all we want to surrender everything in God’s hands. However, that's the right thing to do.
Another thing I've learned with the kids is that to accept help we need to trust in the provider of help. This type of trust is only built through a relationship. Same thing with God if we don't develop a relationship with Him it will be hard to trust. It will be hard to accept His help and then we will twist and turn, get frustrated, fill ourselves with rage because we can't do it ourselves.
However, the most amazing reality is that God is always watching over us and he is just waiting for us to grab his hand. Let's just not wait for the world to be on fire to do that.
Comments