I’m gonna tell you dear reader the story of how I ended up at ResurrectionChurch in two parts. This is the first one! Sorry for the English mistakes and ENJOY!
One of my prayers before leaving Brazil was to find a church, a good church. A place where I could have community and worship God in my year abroad. Maybe if I could dream a little, make some friends. I was a girl in a mission: Get to United States and find a church! First thing I’ve done to accomplish my mission was what? Pray for direction? No, google. Yeap I googled churches in NYC and decided which ones I wanted visited and try just by the name.
First try: Hillsong, of course. If you are young and Christian you most likely have heard about them so I decided to try. I didn’t like the fact that would take me 40 minutes every Sunday to go to church but Hillsong was known as a good church, so the least I could do was try. My first free Sunday here I take the train go to Hillsong. Worship was amazing. The word was good too. But I didn’t get the chance to talk to a single soul. I was disappointed. This place is too huge to make a community, I thought. Sad but not ready to give up I went back to google.
Second Try: Baptist Church at Sunset ParkSmall Baptist church very close to my house. It sounded awesome. It was perfect, a gift from God. I only had to walk like 10 minutes. I was excited! It was right there, the answer to my prayers. Well I thought so back then. I woke up Sunday morning got ready and headed to the service. I get there, kind of nervous not gonna lie, I am not very good with first meetings or seconds. I do get better on thirds and on. As I entered to the church the pastor welcomed me and he was really friendly, nice and fun. I didn’t see many people at the church but maybe I was early. As I go in and find a seat I look around and I kind of get the feeling that I am in the sixties. There are not many young people here, to be honest I counted two. I feel that I am not dressed appropriately too. Well, it’s just a weird feeling that I don’t belong here. Even though the preaching was good and the Pastor was really nice I left that church really disappointed. I got scared and I had the feeling that I wouldn’t find a church.
That same day I googled churches nearby again and wondered around the neighborhood trying to find a place that I could stay. I decided that next try would be Bay Ridge Baptist Church. Next Sunday I told myself.
On the following week I had one of my many freak outs. And I decided that I wasn’t gonna find a church and make any friends, it was impossible. On Tuesday I called my brother and told him I was really upset and worried that I wouldn’t have friends or a church or even speak English enough because the only people that I was hanging out with were Brazilians or Mexicans. I told him: I wanna meet people from here, I want understand this culture, I wanna speak English but I can’t! I was so frustrated. After two churches I was ready to give up.
Same old Carol getting desperate over absolutely nothing.
That moment my brother said: Carol, you need to relax and trust God. Put your worries on His hand. Pray for a church and take your time. In the right time things will happen. I finished the call and put some music on. Got on my knees and started to cry.
I don’t remember my words exactly but was something like this: “God, I don’t wanna be alone. God, I want friends. I want to speak English. I wanna learn. I want a community. I want a place to serve. I wanna know Christians from another culture. I want to help. I want a family just for a year God, please. I don’t know what to do. I am scared.”
On that moment the song Push/Pull was on and the part that touched my heart is like this:
"Right beside me You have always been
When in pride I’ve pushed away
It’s Your mercy that has pulled me in
You won’t walk away
Won’t give me up
I know Your grace has forgiven much
You call me Yours
How can it be
In awe again
Here remembering
You won’t give me up
I will not refuse You God
Right beside You is where I wanna be
Trust You with my heart and soul
Trusting You with everything
And as simple as that God told me: Cool down Carol, you need to chill. Relax. Stop worrying. I am God. I am working. Trust me. I am already talking care of that. Just relax. I stopped crying and hoped that the right place would come. This happened at September 18th.
Wednesday September 19th
On that day they celebrated a jewish holiday, for this reason my kids didn’t have school. But I was still studying so I went to school and came back at noon to pick them up to go to the park. The weather was still nice so I let them play outside. While I am watching my kids I realize they are playing with two little girls that are holding a bee. Yeap, that’s right, those kids were playing with a bee. I come to my kids and tell them: Guys, it’s totally fine if you want play with these kids but I don’t want you holding the bee. Because bees bite ( I know now that the right word is sting but back then I didn’t).
After I say that, some woman approaches me and says: it’s fine, they can play with the bees. These bees here don’t sting. I promptly respond: Well, where I come from all bees bite. Naturally she asks where I am from and we develop a conversation. A few minutes into it she starts to share the gospel! And in my head pops up, maybe she is from a church nearby that I can try to go to! So as she is talking about Jesus I tell her that I am a Christian and I’ve been looking for churches. She invites me to her church. To Youth Service at Friday night. I instantly think: Well, if they have a Youth Service it is an improvement from the church from last Sunday. She says amazing thinks about her church and some part of me is thinking that this not a coincidence. There is something here. I was crying to God yesterday and He told me to relax that He was taking care. Back then, I was not so optimistic about stuff so I couldn’t believe that He was answering my prayer in the next day. In my head on that day, I was nervous but already convinced I was going to the service. One more try it wouldn’t harm, right?
I tell the woman I will come. She tells me her phone number, her phone is dead. She tells me her name, Katherine. Katherine Class. As soon as I get her phone number, one of her daughters comes closer crying: Mommy, mommy! The bee stung me!!
Katherine looks at me with a funny look on her face as she says: Well, I guess these bees do sting!
We laugh and Katherine calls her two kids so they can go home to deal with the bee “wound" (I have no idea how to say this in English.)
Katherine tells me that she will wait for me Friday night. We say goodbye.
I stay at the park with my kids and the thoughts in my head. Could this be a sign? Can this be the answer to my prayer?There is something in there. I don’t know where this path is going to take me yet, but there is a feeling inside me already.
Hope, I have hope.
TO BE CONTINUED...
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