It’s been two weeks that I am living in Brooklyn.
My kids are not going to school yet.
And since this is my second week living with them, they are not my biggest fans either. They miss the old babysitter.
And I can totally understand because when I got here all the rules changed. Not more TV during the day, not more candy only for dessert and if they deserve it. And I am very strict to the rules and also new to them, so it’s hard for all of us. I left everything. I am living with a new family and the kids didn’t get along with me yet. It’s hard. I didn’t like the food here so I’ve been eating very little. I lost weight already and all my clothing is loose. I didn’t meet anybody yet besides my host family and the others au pairs from the training week. I feel alone.
Today is another day to come up with an activity for the whole day. I’ve been playing so many rounds of Cops and Robbers that I don’t know how much more I can take it. I am so tired! The parents told me this morning that I should take the kids to the Sunset Park pool even though it’s not a kiddy pool because they think the kids will enjoy it and it will be fun. I don’t like this idea from the start. I’ve seen the kids in the pool and they stick with the grown-ups, they don’t swim yet and I’m just one adult to hold two kids in the pool, but the parents believe that I can make it.
I think maybe this will be a way to get along with them since the other babysitter hated the pool.
I asked the dad what I need to go to the pool and he tells me that I need only towels. They don’t request anything else over there because it’s a public pool. He assures me that I will only need towels and bathing suits.
It’s extremely hot today so I pack everything that I will supposedly need and head to the pool with the kids. The pool is not very far from the house so is not a long walk, but even with their scooters the kids are complaining about everything. They yell at me that is too hot, that is too far, that they don’t like me. It’s hard. I know they don’t mean it, but these first two weeks are killing me and I don’t know if I will be able to stay for longer. I am praying as I walk with the kids because I am feeling so sad in all of this. I wish that as soon as we get to the pool things will get better. It doesn’t.
When we finally get to the pool there is a line to get in, so far it’s fine. However when it’s our time to get in the lady tells me I can’t come into pool unless I have a lock to put the kids stuff in one of the lockers inside. I don’t have a lock. The Dad didn’t say anything about a lock. She tells me to go home then.
The kids yell at me. They are yelling that they want to go to the pool. They throw things on the floor. I don’t have money here right now to buy a lock. I don’t even know the neighborhood yet. My only option right now is to go back home, but the kids refuse to do that so they yell, they cry, they don’t walk. And me? I am about to cry myself. I don’t know what to do, I am so lost.
At this moment I pray again and I don’t even know what to ask. I just look to the sky and I close my eyes trying not to cry as I ask God for help, I don’t know what to do, help. I don’t want to cry, help. The kids keep screaming so I tell them that we are going to sit on a bench so I can figure it out what to do.
And that’s when my miracle happens…
A woman approaches me and asks what’s going on. I tell her that I brought the kids to the pool, but I can’t come in because I don’t have a lock. She tells me where I can get one and I tell her that I don’t have any money for it. She asks me if I am new here and where I am from. I tell her that I am new and I am from Brazil. I just got here three weeks ago. She looks at me and says, "I know the people who work at the pool and I am going to talk to them. Maybe because they know me they will let you win.”
I am speechless, I can’t thank her enough. She says it’s okay and everything will be fine.
When she is talking to the woman in charge I am praying to things workout, my kids didn’t calm down yet. When she comes back and tells that there is no deal, unfortunately they won’t let me in without a lock. I want to cry again, but I tell her that I really appreciated what she did and I am really thankful that she tried. She tells me it’s fine and it was her pleasure.
I look up to the sky one more time as I say help.
The woman who was walking away comes back to me and says, "Do know what? Stay over here I am going to get you a lock.”
I am thanking her and asking for her number already so I can pay her back. She just tells me one more time to stay where I am and she will be right back.
I am holding my tears and my kids are a little bit calmer now because they heard that there is a chance of going to the pool.
When she comes back and gives me the lock she kneels as she looks into my kids's eyes and says “Kids, listen to me very well, you are only getting into this pool today because of this wonderful babysitter right here. You guys are very lucky to have her to help and support you. You might not know that yet, but you need to value her more. I want both of you to apologize to her and thank her for this opportunity right now.”
Both of my kids look at me and say they are sorry. I am crying because there is no way I can hold my tears in anymore. The lady looks at me and says Ït’s going to be fine Carol, let me hug you.” When she hugs me, I ask her if she believes in God because I prayed for a miracle and she showed up. However she tells me that she believes in helping people and that is her religion. I am still crying and thanking her because I can’t believe in what just happened. She looks me in the eye again and tells me that everything is going to be all right in a short time.
I thank her one more time when she tells me that she needs to go. My kids are calm now and ready to go to the pool.
I look to the sky with tears and I say thank you. I am not alone.
I feel like God is telling me “Hey Carol, I am watching. You are not alone. I am not leaving you here with no help. Trust me.” And I trust Him.
I’ve never seen that woman again.
This story might look silly, but what God spoke to me that day I will never forget. It was a miracle lock given to me right there in front of my eyes. I was feeling alone, lost and helpless.
However he brought someone out of nowhere just to help me.
He worked in all of these details to tell me I wasn’t alone.
He used that situation to tell me that He was watching and He was taking care of me.
I was far away from home, but there is no place in this world that God can’t find me. He listens. He listened to me. Right there in the middle of the park when I didn’t even know what to ask. I could only ask for help and He provided it to me.
Sometimes we get desperate because we don’t know what to do and we try so hard to do things by ourselves. That day I learned that the only thing I needed was to ask and trust. He showed up and He is here all the time. He never leaves. If we believe that He is with us all the time why don’t we rest on Him more? Why do we struggle instead of praying? Why do we complain instead of being thankful? He is here. He is watching us all the time. We forget, He doesn’t.
If you don’t even know what to ask Him in a moment of despair just ask for help. Trust that the King of the Universe loves you so much that He knows your heart. He knows what you need at the exactly time that you need it.
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